Beacon
by LadyDae
Summary: Sequel to The Magic Games. If it were up to me, I'd like to forget that my participation in last year's Magic Games ever happened. But the Victory Tour, carefully planned for midway between the annual games, won't allow us. In past years, I paid little attention to it, but now I'm one of the stars of the show.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Long time no see people! It's been a while. Four and a half months to be exact and a lot has been going on. In the last four and a half months, I finished my novel _Confessions of A Teenage Rape Survivor,_ and it's set to be released October 16th 2014. Yeap folks. I wrote a book and have been getting ready to release it in the time I've been gone (and yes that was a shameless plug. Check out my profile for the link to it if you're interested.). Needless to say, I'm burnt out. So I'm doing what I always do when I'm burnt out. I'm writing fanfiction! Of course, this has been in the works for months but I haven't had time to work on it. Now I'm ready to because it's fun and no pressure writing.

Fair warning, this is a sequel people. You need to go back and read _The Magic Games _so you won't be clueless. Also, this is a CCS/Hunger Games mesh which means it's not a crossover but more like put the CCS characters and conventions into _The Hunger Games _setting. That also means it's not necessary for you to have read _The Hunger Games_ to follow these stories. Also this story is rated T for violence, mild language, and content that may not be suitable for anyone under the age of thirteen. Other than that it's pretty mild and as always, excuse any typos or errors.

Now that all that is out the way, without further ado I give you….

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><p><strong>Beacon<strong>

**1**

_It's all right daijoubu daijoubu daijoubu  
>kiseki datte okoseru<br>Here we go ikou yo ikou yo ikou yo  
>tsubasa hiroge<br>kitto nani ka ga nani ka ga doko ka de  
>deaeru hi o matteru<br>Do! Do! Do! Dreaming! Dreaming!  
>soshite tobira ga hiraku yo...<em>

"You're doing it again."

I blink out my thoughts and turn to my best friend, Toya. He's still looking straight ahead as we make our way back from the woods. I probably should be in more of a rush considering the cameras will be back in less than an hour for Sakura's and I's Victory Tour, but I'm admittedly relishing these last few moments of peace before my whole life is under all Magea's scrutiny again.

"Doing what?"

"You're singing that song."

"What song?"

"That one you've been singing lately," Toya replied.

I shrug. "I guess I must have picked it up somewhere from the Capitol," I say.

"No you didn't. You used to sing it before, not all the time and never in public, so I never mentioned it. But you've been singing it a lot more lately and I figured I better warn you before you get caught doing it on camera or something," Toya replied. "Where'd you learn it?"

"I don't know. I didn't even realize I was singing anything until now."

Toya hums and says, "Maybe it's from before."

"Before?"

"You know. Before you were with us."

I shrug in dismissal of the idea as we continue to Victor Village after spending the morning in the woods. Since Sakura and I have more money that we know what to do with after winning the Magic Games, Toya's had a lot more time on his hands and much of that time has been spent out in the woods with me.

"Should we go get Sakura and Clow," Toya asks as we enter Victor Village.

I glance at Clow's house and then shake my head. Sakura won't get so caught up in whatever she's up to with Clow that she'll forget that the cameras come back today, especially since she's the one that reminded me this morning. Still, I never know with the two of them when it comes to magic.

I head straight for the kitchen when in the house. I was so eager to enjoy my last few hours of freedom this morning that I rushed out the house without making any coffee and even I'll admit that I have much less patience without it. I'm going to need all the patience in the world when my old prep team and our escort come from the Capitol to help parade Sakura and I through Magea for the Victory Tour. If it were up to me, I'd like to forget that my participation in last year's Magic Games even happened. But the Victory tour, carefully planned for midway between the annual games, won't allow us. In past years, I paid little attention to it, but now I'm one of the stars of the show.

I stop just before getting to the kitchen upon catching sight of Sakura sitting quietly on the couch in the living room. Immediately, I detect that something isn't right. Normally Sakura would have met us at the doorway if she sensed we were coming, which I know she had to with her magic developing as fast as it is now that she has a little more freedom to use it. There are only two conclusions. She's so distracted by something that she didn't sense us or whatever is distracting her is so consuming that she did sense us and didn't care to greet us. Either reason is concerning.

"Sakura," Toya says when he comes in behind me.

She blinks and then yelps, "Hoe!"

So she didn't sense us. It's been a while sense we've scared her so badly that she used that expression.

"You're quiet," Toya points out.

Sakura shrugged and then said, "Just a little tired is all."

The she gasps and stands up and makes her way over to me.

"Look what Clow and I did," Sakura says holding out a pink long rectangular card to me.

"What's this?" I ask, but upon holding it in my hand part of my question is answered as I feel the surge of magic from it. On the front of the card is a drawing of one of the spirits we encountered in the Magic Games or at least it looks like a drawing. Somehow I don't need Sakura to tell me that this is Windy.

The Games weren't over when we first came back to District Twelve as Victors. For weeks, the cameras followed Sakura and I around in our daily lives. Why the Capitol is so interested in our daily lives when we have nothing to do after the Games, I have no clue, but Sakura has become more popular after the Games than she ever was during them. Tomoyo, my stylist, tells me that she's Magea's new darling, and after the games no one could get enough of following her and by proxy, following me, her ever protective guardian, lover, companion—I'm not sure what they're calling me nowadays.

Finally though, the cameras left and the next morning, Sakura is sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me to awake. It almost feels like back before we won the games; with Sakura quietly waiting for me to drink my coffee, with there being no words between us as we walk the familiar path through the meadow, as we both pause to listen for the hum of the electric fence to assure that it's safe to pass through one of its gaping holes. However, as soon as we stepped into the woods, I knew everything had changed. I no longer felt the sense of relief and freedom I used to feel when coming out into the woods, the sense of self. Now the woods are tainted by the Magic Games, where Sakura and I spent weeks trapped in woods just like these fighting to the death with twenty-two other child tributes. Even so, being in the woods was less suffocating than being in town all day and followed by cameras.

Sakura and I don't do anything in particular that first day, other than sitting right outside the tree line and the next two days go much the same way. However, on the fourth day is something different. It _feels _like the Magic Games. Without much thought, I head straight to get my bow and arrow, which I haven't thought about touching once since we got back. As soon as I pull back an arrow, the source of the disturbance reveals itself.

Windy.

Sakura and I stare at her in dumfound disbelief for a moment, even as Windy greets us with her customary "hugs." Finally I scowl and manage to ask what the spirit is doing here though the answer is obvious enough. Windy confirms it by giving us another of her "hugs." She followed us from the Magic Games. While tributes making companions out of spirits is pretty normal in the Magic Games, I've never heard of one following a Victor out the arena. I'm just glad the spirit had the sense to wait to reveal herself until after the cameras left.

Since Windy made it apparent she had no intention of leaving us, Sakura went straight to Clow for help. Even though I admit that it was Clow's careful guidance that helped get Sakura and I through the games, I'm still not his biggest fan so I had no involvement in Sakura's little project. In fact, until she showed me this card, I had forgotten about it. Sakura's name is written on the bottom of the front and when I flip it over to look at the back, I see the crest that she, Kero, and I created during the games.

"How'd you manage this?"

Sakura shrugged. "I came up with the idea of containing her in something I could carry around, and Clow helped a lot. Now Windy can go with us on the tour."

"That's nice. Make sure you keep it safe," I say handing the card back to her.

Translation: Don't let anyone else know about this. Sakura looks me dead in the eye and then nods, signaling to me that she understands what I really mean. We're already in enough trouble with the Capitol as it is for finding a loophole in their own game and forcing them to take two tributes alive instead of one.

"You should go get ready," I say. "Cameras will be here soon."

Sakura nods and makes her way upstairs.

I finally make my way to the kitchen. As I do so, Toya chuckles.

"There was a time she would have run up to me to show me stuff like that. Now she hardly notices I'm in the room when you're around," Toya says.

I smile a little as I tease, "Jealous?"

"Maybe. But more of Sakura than you," Toya says in a tone that's between joking and serious.

Whatever way he meant it causes me to stiffen for a brief moment. Then I become annoyed and glare at him as I practically slam the pot onto the stove, sloshing water all over the counter.

"Toya. Don't," I warn.

Toya sighs as he comes to the other side of the counter to stand in front of me. I unconsciously take a step back, dismayed that the stove behind me prevents me from creating more distance between us.

"I'm not," Toya assures me with a sigh, but that doesn't stop him from grabbing my hand and pressing a kiss to my forehead. Afterwards, he lets go of my hand and says, "You should go upstairs and get ready too. I'll watch your coffee."

I make my way from Toya and upstairs as fast as I can without running, releasing a breath I didn't realize I was holding when I get to my room, and prepare to take a bath. To think I thought Toya would be upset with me for appearing like I was in love with Sakura in front of the entire nation. The last thing I was expecting was that Toya might be upset because he was jealous. I don't see how I was so blind to it. Instead of becoming more protective of Sakura when we arrived back from the Capitol, he essentially gave Sakura's and I's supposed relationship his blessing to the whole nation.

"_Who better to love my sister than the one who would die to protect her?"_ he said.

It took all my willpower to not open my mouth in shock at the words and instead appear relieved that he approved while the cameras were rolling. Considering the cameras were rolling for weeks afterward, I didn't get a chance to ask him about it for a while or even explain that the whole thing was mostly a ruse to gain the sympathy of the Capitol. When I did finally explain it, Toya chuckled and said, "I knew that."

"How?" I asked.

"Because, Yue, I know you better than anyone," Toya replied.

In hindsight, I should have known there was more to his casual acceptance then, but I didn't really know until he spelled it out for me on my birthday. I have no clue how Sakura and Toya managed to orchestrate a surprise party for me without me knowing, but they did. Normally, my birthday goes by without much fanfare. As far as I'm usually concerned it only means another slip in the reaping bowl. Besides, the efforts are usually only spared for Sakura, whom for so many years a birthday party once a year was the only indulgence we could spare her. Now that we have a lot of time on our hands and more money, both Toya and Sakura saw fit to throw me a party. Eventually they admitted that the party was more of a "thank you" for everything I had done and my birthday presented them with the perfect opportunity to throw it.

Even though I don't like anything remotely social, nor am I the sentimental type, I couldn't help but be touched that the two thought so much of me that they wanted to do this for me even though it was likely I'd be a grump from beginning to end. So for their sakes, I managed to muster up a pleasantness that I couldn't even muster up for the ending ceremonies of the Magic Games. Besides, it wasn't a big party. There was Clow and Yukito and a few people from school that I tolerated (meaning that I didn't glare at them every time I saw them). They tried to get Tomoyo to come, but she's swamped with all kind of requests since her styling debut in the Magic Games. Still just because I was pleasant didn't mean that all the social excitement wasn't taking its toll on me. So when I thought no one would miss me anymore, I quietly slipped out the house and went to the woods. I'm only there for a few minutes when I realize that someone noticed my disappearance. At first I assumed it was Sakura, but to my surprise it's Toya who followed me.

I'd be lying if I said things weren't awkward between us. While nothing had really changed, at the same time everything had changed, and Toya and I have to relearn how to be friends. It doesn't take long and after a while, I'm trying to hide my smile of amusement at Toya's dry sense of humor as he recalls all the things that happened while Sakura and I were participating in the Magic Games.

Upon noticing that I'm trying to hide my amusement, he smiles at me and says, "I missed you when you were gone you know."

I don't say anything in response, only nodding my head in acknowledgment.

"I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't let you both win," he adds.

I shrugged. "You would have lived."

"Would have been difficult."

"You'd have had Sakura."

"Sakura's not you."

At this point, my instincts alert me to the fact that Toya might mean this in a much different way than platonic friendship, but like always, like when I realized Sakura's feeling for me might be more than a ploy to win the Magic Games, I deny it. I continue to deny it even when I notice the gap between us has closed.

"Toya," I begin, but forget what I was about to say just as soon as his lips touch mine. I hardly remember what was going through my head, but I remember the sensations. Toya's lips are somehow soft, yet firm, and warm against mine. I'm not sure how long it lasted, but just as soon as I begin to comprehend what's happening, he pulls away from me.

I stare at him, not sure what to think or what to feel. Luckily, Toya didn't ask. He simply smiled at me and said, "I just had to do that once." Then he left.

There's been no awkwardness between us. In that sense, Toya is just like Sakura. Both are so afraid of unintentionally pressuring me into something that they're content to wait for me to sort out my own feelings, knowing that it might be forever. At the same time, both are doing exactly what they seem to be trying so hard not to do. It's not their fault. It can't really be helped.

Before the Magic Games, it wasn't practical to think about a long term relationship with anyone when there was no certainty that I wouldn't be reaped into the next Magic Games. Even without the threat of the Magic Games, Toya, Sakura, and I were always one misfortune away from starving to death. So when Clow asked me months ago if I had even had a crush on a girl before, I was being honest when I said I hadn't. But now that there's no danger of being reaped into the games and we have more than enough money to keep food on the table, I can think about what my future might be like, including who I'd like to spend it with.

With Sakura, our relationship would always be under someone's scrutiny, on display for the whole nation to see. We couldn't even have a disagreement without the Capitol catching wind of it and displaying it all over the television. We'd be forced to act like the perfect happy couple, to smile for the cameras, to please the crowd. I'd never know if anything was real or fake. With Toya, our relationship would belong to us alone. Our relationship could be private and would _have _to be private. We would never be able to show any public affection. In the districts, homosexual relationships are strictly forbidden for the simple reason that the Capitol doesn't want anything interfering with the reproduction of its labor force. They breed us like cattle and therefore homosexuality is punishable by death. Toya's and I's very life would depend on keeping our relationship hidden. No. Not our lives, but Toya's life. I'm a Victor. If the officials found out, they wouldn't kill me, but they'd kill Toya, probably make me watch, and force me to live with the guilt of his death. These scenarios are assuming I want a relationship at all.

By the time I arrived, Toya and Sakura's mother, Nadeshiko, was long dead. Though Fujitaka seemed to function well enough, I could see the lingering sadness in his eyes, the constant longing for her to be with him again. That kind of need and longing seems like more trouble than it's worth. There's always the fear that the person you love will be taken away from you, whether by the Capitol or through something natural that no one has any control over.

The doorbell rings and manages to snap me out my thoughts. No sooner than I've thrown something on, do I hear the commotion downstairs as everyone files into the house. I put my conflicting thoughts about my love life aside at that point. Right now, I've got a show to put on.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So what do you think so far? It's a setup chapter, but it really does help set the tone for the rest of the story. Now about updating…

Honestly, I have no clue when I'll be updating this story. As of right now, I have exactly two chapters of it written. However since I'm done writing my novel (Tentatively. I was done two edits ago too) I'll be working on this a lot and will probably have five or six chapter done by next week. With the story not all the way written, I won't set a review quota yet, but I will say that review do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

As soon as I'm down the steps, my prep team bombards me, hardly giving me a hello before they're looking over me to see how much work they have to do on me.

"Look at your hands and nails," Mai says as she grabs my hand. "They're so rough and dirty."

"You did what we said to make your hair grow out really fast right? The regimen we talked about before you left?" Nana asks.

"Regimen," I say slowly. I honestly have no clue what she's talking about.

"Oh God! You didn't cut it!" Nana asks.

Before my prep team can suffer a mental breakdown and fret over the possibility that I didn't take care of my hair, I say, "Oh. I remember now. You were right. See?"

I turn to my side to allow them to get a good look and they sigh in relief, because my hair has indeed grown even if it's not from the regimen they gave me. Mai is about to say something else when a familiar soft voice laughs and says, "I'm sure Yue's as perfect as always. Besides. Worst come to worst, we'll use extensions."

Tomoyo pushes her way past my prep team with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Peace offering?" she says as she holds the coffee out to me.

I take it from her and seeing that her peace offering has worked, Tomoyo pulls me into a hug. She didn't need the peace offering if that's all she wanted.

"My goodness, Sakura!" Demetrius says as he looks Sakura up and down. "You've grown so much!"

"I know Demetrius. Look at her," says one of the people from Sakura's prep team. "She's got breasts now!"

Sakura's entire face and neck turns red in mortification.

"We're going to have to take out all her clothes," another of her prep team says.

It's only been a few months, but having more than enough food to put on the table and being able to afford luxuries has caused Sakura to have a growth spurt. She's gotten taller and definitely gained weight in certain places; not that I noticed until her team pointed it out. Still, they're right. She's starting to look less like a little girl and more like that woman I've continued to dream about even though the games are over.

"Well we haven't got all day," Tomoyo says to save Sakura any further embarrassment.

I'm kicked out of what is technically Sakura's house and forced to go into my own, somewhere I haven't stepped foot in once since it was given to me. Tomoyo leaves me in the hands of my prep team while she gets my outfit ready. While two of my prep team works on my hands, the other works on my hair. As they do so, they begin to ramble about what a hit the last Magic Games were, how it's been so boring in the Capitol without the Games, and how everyone in the Capitol is so excited to see us again at the end of the tour.

Then they start talking about how excited they are for the Quarter Quell and how lucky I am to be a mentor in one the very first year of being a victor. It takes everything in me not to tell them how incredibly stupid and shallow they are, how in the districts, the Quarter Quell is nothing to be excited about. Since Mai is working on my hand still, I can't ball my right hand like I want to, so I settle for pressingly my lips tightly together. Doing so means I can't reply to their comment, but my prep team is used to my silent nature at this point.

In a normal year, two tributes from every district are chosen in a completely random lottery. If that weren't bad enough, this year will be the Seventy-fifth Magic Games, which means it's a Quarter Quell. They happen every twenty-five years and are celebrated with a unique twist to the games. In the last quell, the Capitol demanded twice the tributes, and District Twelve's Clow Reed won the games. It's a good thing Sakura and I will be able to mentor. Clow will probably be more of a hermit during this year's games then he usually is, especially if this year's tributes have no affinity for magic like Sakura and I.

Thankfully, the three quickly exhaust talking about the Quarter Quell. Not long after, they finish my hair and hands and send me down to Tomoyo. She smiles when she sees me and I send her one of my rare genuine smiles in return.

To my surprise, I can actually say that Tomoyo's probably the first friend I've ever made on my own. Of course, it didn't start out that way. I might have enjoyed her company compared to my prep team and I might have called her a close acquaintance before, but now I truly see her as a friend. It started with our new phone. After Sakura learned how to use it, Tomoyo would call to check on her every now and then. One day though, I happened to pick up the phone when Sakura ran over to Clow's house for a quick errand. Since she was coming right back—or so I thought—I stayed on the line with Tomoyo. I should have known better than to think Sakura could ever make a quick run to Clow's house, but because I didn't foresee that she'd be gone so long, I ended up staying on the phone with Tomoyo much longer than I intended. However, I enjoy talking to her. She, unlike most people, isn't always on the lookout for a way knock me down a few pegs or make me lose my cool persona. As a result, I find it's easy to tell her things without feeling embarrassed, even if I think it's ridiculous. That's not to say that Tomoyo doesn't tease. She does, but somehow I can find myself amused when she teases me, not annoyed like the way I was when Kero teased me. Tomoyo, I find out, is very easy to talk to.

Since then though, Tomoyo would call the house to check on Sakura and then Sakura would pass the phone to me. Somehow, I think if we had met under any other circumstance, we may not have gotten along as well as we do.

"Outfit's over there," Tomoyo says as she watches a team bring a piano into the house.

All the Victors are supposed to take up a talent after winning the games since they have nothing better to do. I tossed multiple ideas around with Tomoyo, Sakura, and Toya before sucking up and asking Yukito to teach me to play the piano. Yukito says that my long, slender fingers make me a natural, but I don't really care. It's just one more thing I have to do to please the Capitol.

Once I'm dressed in warm white pants, a white shirt, and purple woven sweater with boots, I sit at the assembled piano to play just enough to satisfy the Capitol audience who will be watching. Then Sonomi sweeps into the room and tells us it's time for me to take my place in front of the door. Sonomi greets me excitedly though she refrains from her customary kisses.

Tomoyo rushes over to put a fur coat on me and then slaps a scarf around my neck. Tomoyo then frowns as she looks at me.

"Yue, where's—"

Sonomi interrupts whatever Tomoyo was about to say and says, "We're about to do the first outdoor shot where our Victors greet each other for their fabulous trip. Yue, look pleasant for the cameras. You are very excited right?"

With that, the door opens and Sonomi quite literally shoves me out the door. My first instinct is to turn back to glare at her but then I remember I'm on camera and instead begin to walk down the steps. It's a good thing I don't have to concentrate on smiling right now, because it's taking all my concentration not to roll my eyes at how contrived all this is. I'm supposed to be excited about seeing someone I just saw not even two hours ago.

I catch sight of Sakura coming out the house through the thick snow. Since she's better at this than I am, Sakura's eyes light up in what might be genuine excitement before she makes a run for me without any thought of the icy patches on the ground. Predictably, she slips on the ice halfway to me, and I'm just in time to catch her. I sigh at her antics and somehow Sakura manages a faint blush. Before we can continue on though she says, "You forgot this."

Before I can ask what she's talking about, she stands on her tiptoes and pulls on my scarf so that my face is closer to her. Then she holds out a family purple and white earring, my district token, and puts in on my ear.

"There," she says.

Once that's done, Sakura and I start on our way to the cars. We've barely taken two more steps before Sakura slips on the ice again and rather than do this all the way to the car, I lift her onto my back and carry her the rest of the way to the car waiting for us, just like I use to carry her to school during the winters, just like I'm sure the Capitol remembers Sakura reminding me on that mountain in the Games.

Once we're at the station, Toya is there waiting for us. He hugs Sakura and tells her not to give me too much trouble. Sakura's reply is a shy but impish smile and I'm not sure if that's for the cameras or she's serious. Then Toya turns to me and says, "Take care."

"Don't worry. She'll be fine."

"I know," Toya says as he pulls me into a hug and then says too low for the cameras to pick up, "I mean take care of yourself."

I hope I don't look as flustered as I feel. More than likely, the Capitol will make nothing of it, but it's better safe than sorry.

The rest of the day is a blur to me. Sakura, Clow, Sonomi, the stylists and I have dinner, and then Sakura and I are shooed off to bed. Like always, I'm awake well into the night. When we stop for fuel, I'm just beginning to doze off. Then I hear something, voices just outside my door. Who would be up at this time of night besides me?

I get up and open my door to find no one in the hall. Thinking I might just be paranoid, I turn to go back into my room only to hear a thumping sound and someone muttering under their breath. I turn back around and peer down the hall.

"Tomoyo?" I ask.

She whips around to face me, looking a little flustered, something very uncharacteristic of her.

"Oh. Sorry. Did I wake you?" she asks.

"No," I say as I look her up and down before asking, "Who were you talking to?"

"No one. Why?"

I get the feeling that Tomoyo might be lying, but what reason would she have to lie to me.

"Thought I heard voices," I say. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just woke up feeling a little thirsty is all."

"Isn't there water in your room?"

"It's a little warm. I wanted something cool."

I look at her and then sigh. "I can save you a trip."

As I start to walk towards her room she says, "Are you sure?"

For some reason, it looks like her eyes keep darting behind me, though I have no clue why. I glance behind me and then back at Tomoyo, trying to shake the feeling that she's trying to distract me. From what? I have no clue.

"I'm sure," I say as I follow her into her room. I spot the water on the stand on the other side of the room. Within seconds of me looking at it, the water shows the tell-tale signs of being cooled. Sakura isn't the only one who's been practicing her magic in her free time.

"Thank you," Tomoyo says crossing the room to pour herself some water.

"No problem," I say and begin to leave the room.

"Wait!"

I turn back at the urgency in the girl's voice. She stares at me with her mouth open for a while before shaking her and blinking and saying, "You don't have to rush back to your room."

I tilt my head in confusion.

"We haven't talked in a while Yue and today you seemed a little… pensive."

"I'm always pensive. Toya and Sakura say I overthink things too much all the time," I reply dryly.

Tomoyo says, "That's true, but that's not what I mean. You seemed like something was bothering you earlier today, when we first arrived."

I start to tell her that she's mistaken until I remember what I had been thinking about right before they came, the moment that happened between me and Toya. Tomoyo, taking my hesitancy to mean that something is bothering me, sits on her bed and pats the spot next to her.

"It's nothing," I say avoiding her eyes. "It's late. We should get to bed."

"We have nothing important to do tomorrow so we can both sleep as late as we want to. Come on," she says softly. "Tell me what's been going on, the things you couldn't say over the phone."

Her gentle insistence is all the prompting I need. Suddenly I'm telling her everything. About Toya. Our kiss. About how I feel torn between the two Kinomoto siblings. About how I'm not sure what feelings are real since I've spent so much time putting on an act for the cameras.

Tomoyo doesn't say a word as I reveal these things to her, nor does she seem shocked or surprised at anything I reveal. She simply nods and sips on her water every now and then. It's only when she's sure I'm done that she speaks.

"Yue," she begins. "What do you like to do?"

The question takes me by surprise. I have no idea what her question has to do with anything, but this is Tomoyo, and I've learned that her exuberance and eccentricity extends outside her passion for designing clothes.

She looks at me and repeats, "What do you like to do? Really? And when I say that, I mean the one thing that you do for yourself, not because you have to or because it's important."

My mind is a blank. When you were one misfortune away from starvation and dying, everything you did tended to center around survival. At some point, when I was younger and before Fujitaka died, it might have been archery. But after he died, it became a necessary means of living. And even if it hadn't, the Magic Games ruined any sanctity that archery might have had for me now that I've had to kill other people doing it. Other than archery, I can't think of a single thing that I like to do for the sake of doing it. The thought terrifies me, even though I came to this realization during the Magic Games. But there was no time to focus on that crisis when we could be killed at any moment. Without my archery and without having to protect Sakura, I'm nothing. I'm no one.

Tomoyo seems to pick this up without me saying and continues, "Yue, I think that you've been so focused on keeping the people you care about safe, that you haven't had time to learn anything about yourself."

I can agree with her on that. It seemed like everyone knew things about me that I had no clue about myself during the Magic Games.

"I think," Tomoyo continues, "If you can figure out what you really want out of life, figure out what makes you happy, then your other issues will work themselves out."

Tomoyo's advice seems so simple and cliché. Essentially, she's saying I need to get to know myself first, which seems like something off one of those stupid talk shows they air from the Capitol sometimes. Then I remember, Tomoyo is from the Capitol. In some strange way though, it makes sense. If I can figure out what I want or need out of life, I can pick the person best suited towards complimenting that. In a way it seems selfish and though I'm many things including harsh and sarcastic with the charm of a rattlesnake (Sakura's words), selfish isn't something I've had the chance to be and it's the one thing I've never been accused of either.

"You're overthinking it, Yue," Tomoyo says. "For once, just try to let things happen. Don't try to be so controlling."

That's going to take a lot of effort. I hate when situations are out of my control. They make me feel manipulated. The reason Sakura and I are in so much trouble with the Capitol right now is because I took control and played the Magic Games by my own rules, which culminated in a final act of defiance by Sakura that allowed us both to win. And even as Tomoyo says it, something tells me that the Capitol is going to throw many more things at me that will try any effort I put into releasing my need for control.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> I know it's been a while, a lot longer than I thought it would be, but to be honest I wasn't feeling inspired to write this. So I wrote yet another book and then came back to this story and now I'm back to writing it again. I figure I'll be more than halfway through writing it by the time New Years comes. Anyway, nothing to say about this chapter but rest assured things get a lot more interesting in the next one.

I won't set a review quota (yet), but I will say that reviews do motivate me to keep writing and not move on to other projects. I write for me, but I write for you too and your excitement and reactions urge me on. So review please.


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